WireRazor: Your girlfriend beats the living snot out of you. You're all bruised up with a bloody nose. She claims to love you afterwards - keep her or dump her?
MudBugs: You must consider the reason for the loan and the context of the conversation. Here It is clear that I meant $200 to gamble and $100 if we loose.
ADVICE I READ ONCE WAS TO TRY TO GET CLOSER TO LEVEL OF PERSON ONE IS TALKING TO--FOR EXAMPLE, IF THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO IS EXTREMELY AGAINST SOMETHING, IF YOU MAKE IT OBVIOUS THAT YOU FEEL TOTALLY OPPOSITE, THEY MAY SHUT YOU OUT. IF YOU AGREE PARTLY WITH WHAT THEY ARE SAYING, EMPHASIZE THAT BEFORE TRYING TO GUIDE THEM MORE TOWARD YOUR VIEW POINT.
I HEARD ADVICE ONCE THAT ONE CAN BE MORE OF A HELP BY "ACTING" ON A CLOSER EMOTIONAL LEVEL TO WHOM YOU ARE TALKING. IF THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO IS VERY DEPRESSED, IF YOU ACT LIKE YOU ARE "ON TOP OF THE WORLD", THEY MAY ACTUALLY FEEL WORSE.
I KNOW A CITY BUS DRIVER THAT WHEN HE IS ASKED, "HOW ARE YOU?", HE RESPONDS, "MISERABLE, ROTTEN,ETC" IT SEEMS TO CHEER PASSENGERS UP MORE THAN A TYPICAL "FINE" ANSWER!
WHEN SOMEONE REALLY MATCHES YOUR FEELINGS, IT REALLY IS A GREAT EXPERIENCE. ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES IN MY MEMORY WAS A LONG, BORING MEETING ATTENDED BY FAMILIES. WHEN THE ANNOUNCEMENT CAME THAT IT WAS OVER, A CHILD MADE A HAPPY EXCLAMATION THAT EVERYONE IDENTIFIED WITH.
IT IS A HEALTHY THING FOR ONE TO KNOW THEY ARE HEARD, IDENTIFIED WITH, AND THAT OTHERS EXPERIENCE SIMILAR TROUBLES AND HANDLE THEM WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR.